My Amost Epic Fail

As with most people, I am not perfect. I make many mistakes. Some are epic, and then some are not so epic. In my defense, is it not our mistakes that help shape us into the person we are today? I myself have been shaped by the countless mistakes I have committed in my brief past. One such incident that comes to mind is my first infatuation, Tara Basterson. Because I have the power on this blog, I have changed the names of the characters in my story. I met Tara my second day in Kindergarten; then she was absolutely beautiful. I was a decently handsome boy, if I do say so myself. Both of our mothers taught at the same school, so every once in a while we would go outside and play on the playground after school.  I being a boy, and her being a girl, did the natural thing that boys and girls do; we snuck into the woods right beyond the fence. As we headed off, we saw this path through the trees. After a bit of walking, we became convinced that this was the trail of Johnny Appleseed. After all, who else would walk through the woods? We ended up exploring the whole trail, and found the highway. Disappointed we didn’t find the remains of Johnny Appleseed, we headed back to the school playground. Come to find out my mom was outside looking for us. When we reached her she gave us the usual interrogation, “where were you,” “What were two doing,” and “did you take your vitamins?” Her questions were normal, and I answered with the normal answer, “uhhh.” She then saw my new jeans, covered with grass stains. More out of anger for my grass stains then the fact Tara and I ran off together, she started to be me in front of Tara. I, being the natural boy, started crying in front of Tara. She would never again see me in the same way. So my mistakes have shaped me. I will never again believe that Johnny Appleseed was buried in those woods. That was my mistake, obviously. I have sensed learned to wear extra padding before the beating commences.

"You gave me the inch, Im taking the mile"

A million years ago, when humans had bigger brains, there was a social networking site that censored all things bad about Facebook mobile. This social networking site had another name, it was Big Brother. Big Brother stood for all things evil. These things ranged from Twilight, to Martha Stewart. From non-fat milk to healthy cookies, which were considered abominations a million years ago. Despite the horrific attempts of Big Brother to silence the free thinkers of the world, and have the free thinkers conform to the dull mindless clatter of their culture, a group of people said “Nay!”  It was a Resistance that stood in the face of Big Brother, a.k.a Facebook, and said "HA! We will not comply with your wishes and your desire to commit obscene actions to our bodies!" The Resistance stood with boldness, despite the lack of sugar packed cookies. They stood strong, they were legend makers. The legends go on to say that one day the Resistance demolished Big Brother, or so they thought. For today Big Brother is back. He carries not the same name, but his actions are unmistakably that of Big Brother. He wishes for us to comply with his desires, both sexual and not-as-sexual. We, as free thinkers must say “Nay,” or “only for money,” or even “not till its legal!” We must stand firm; we must be the Resistance! Remember, the fox flies at midnight! 

Exploring Uncharted Waters

I personally like trying new things, even though I start off a bit nervous when these new situations start. There is a part of me that doesn't want to have change, and doesn't like "uncharted waters." I try to ignore that part of me, most of the time. Despite my feelings toward the unfamiliar, I  find myself preparing for change. For example, I am almost fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse that will soon strike our world. All I have left to obtain is 20,000 feet of high quality rope, and 10,000 pounds of Twinkies. I personally have never been in a zombie apocalypse, however I do feel that I am prepared for this situation. I am at peace with the dead reanimating, and I can also say that I am looking forward to this predicament. That is mainly because these vampire lovers will finally see they have gotten everything wrong and will meet their just reward for not preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Even though I am prepared for zombies to attack, there are other unfamiliar territories, and unfamiliar people, that I hope I never have contact with. Like Chinese hotel owners, a homeless person who wants to touch my feet, 5th graders, and many more things that simply frighten me. Even so, I realize change happens. As we live, life will put us in unfamiliar places. All I can do is try my best, pray, and hope I have enough money for take out. Everything else usually falls into place.

P.S. If you would like to donate to A.Z.A (Awareness of the Zombie Apocalypse) please call 555-734-7685. We will accept goods, but cash is preferred. Your donations will be used to save human lives. Thank You.